Character Paragraph Integrity and Action Bites

“Well, did you shoot him or not?”

“Only because I enjoyed it so gods-damned much.”

Rahel put her hands on her hips. “You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this.”

Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant. This was a disaster, she realized. Now, even going home meant nothing but disgrace. “What part of I’m having a bad day haven’t you noticed, causing you to want to fill in the sweet spots for me?”

Rahel sighed.

Tundy stood, staggered and checked her horse.

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While reviewing manuscripts, I often notice when writers fail to maintain what I call character paragraph integrity (I made that term up–maybe).  It’s worth touching on because it’s one thing that separates good writers from those still learning the craft.

Writers are usually aware that whenever a new person speaks, a new paragraph is in order.  What is less known is it’s usually preferable to also do this with action and other forms of narrative.

I’m reminded of a question someone posed regarding paragraph length. The questioner said a teacher once told her to never write a one sentence paragraph.  I wrote back and said, ‘length has nothing to do with it.  It more often has to do with where the ball is on the playing field.’  The above segment from my novel in progress (The Condotte’s Daughter) opens with the ball in Rahel’s hands. Six words later, the ball is in Tundy’s mitt.  It hardly matters if it’s dialogue or action.  A few lines down, Rahel sighs (clearly action), yielding a two word paragraph.

On a general level, paragraph integrity relates to the broader need to afford readers as much clarity as a writer can offer. On a more specific level, regarding this post on action bites, paragraph integrity allows the writer to use action bites–or nothing at all–in place of tags.

Let’s look at the lowly tag a moment: Rahel said.

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A tag actually does nothing for a plot. It is simply a device used to help clarify who is speaking. Tags are best when simple and nearly invisible. If you can find ways to do without them, great.

Nobody has ever become a great writer by using lots of gaudy and intrusive tags, though I’ve noticed plenty of poor writers seemingly specializing in decorating them up as much as possible.

Many writers know to use a variety of techniques to minimize the use of tags. One good tool for doing away with tags is the action bite.

Use of the action bite in place of the tag relies solely upon a writer having convinced the reader that they abide by the rule of character paragraph integrity. If the paragraph belongs to Tundy, she can think in it (if also the POV), act in it and speak in it.  It belongs to her and her alone.  If I show her speaking in it, acting in it and thinking in it, in any combination, one form can support the other, often allowing me to do away with the tag and still maintain clarity for the reader.

Imagine the following bad example:

Rahel put her hands on her hips. “You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this.” Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant.

In the above example I’ve put two of my actors in the same paragraph. Who is speaking? It could be either actor.  I have no choice but to add a tag. If this is the habit, I’ll have to tag every spoken sentence in the entire novel (an utter disaster).  This yields the weaker paragraph:

Rahel put her hands on her hips. She said, “You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this.” Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant.

The same problem occurs when we pull things apart too far. In the example below, we have no idea who is speaking because we’ve taken the action bite tool out of the dialogue paragraph:

Rahel put her hands on her hips.

“You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this.”

Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant.

This example of overly-splitting bites away from dialogue begs for the clarity of an otherwise unnecessary tag:

Rahel put her hands on her hips.

“You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this,” Rahel said.

Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant.

The action bite, Rahel put her hands on her hips, does all the work for us–while keeping every word in plot–when we maintain paragraph integrity, as shown below:

Rahel put her hands on her hips. “You’re a hardheaded, impetuous wench. No wonder you’ve come to this.”

Tundy stopped fussing with her wounds and glared up at the servant.

I’m a big fan of action bites and a reduced reliance upon tags.  Character paragraph integrity allows me to get away with it while minimizing words that don’t contribute to plot and while maximizing clarity.